The Freedom of Obedience
Today as I sat beside Wayne's hospital bed, I watched a parable in action.
Wayne is being fed and medicated by IV right now. Lots of tubes acting as the conduit through which life and healing flow. Wayne is very restless. He keeps moving his arm in such a way that the IV lines get tangled and the healing flow can't get to him. When he starts moving his arm too much, we have to take his hand and gently hold it down so he won't get the lines tangled. It frustrates him. He feels we are restricting his freedom. He is missing the context. All he knows is he wants his hand to move and we want it to be still. He can't see that what he thinks is restriction is really freedom-- freedom to receive the flow that sustains his life.
Like Wayne, we often chafe at God's call to obedience, thinking it restricts us. Our view is narrow. We can't see that His loving hand on ours is freedom. It keeps us in the place where His power and provision flow. It keeps us from moving out of the flow of His Life.
This morning when I got to Wayne's room, they had tied that restless hand to the bed with just enough give that he had freedom, but not license. In other words, he could move his hand, but only within the confines of that which was safe for him. It was a comfortable, soft little cuff around his wrist, but it surprised me and hurt me when I saw it. I thought, how much better when the discipline comes from a loving hand. How much better when that "restriction" is accompanied with a loving touch and gentle words instead of in a impersonal "law" that has no heart. See how much God loves us? His guidance comes to us from His loving hand, accompanied by His gentle voice, until we learn by experience that His commands set us free.
"I will run in the path of your commands,for you have set my heart free" (Ps 119:32).
Wayne is being fed and medicated by IV right now. Lots of tubes acting as the conduit through which life and healing flow. Wayne is very restless. He keeps moving his arm in such a way that the IV lines get tangled and the healing flow can't get to him. When he starts moving his arm too much, we have to take his hand and gently hold it down so he won't get the lines tangled. It frustrates him. He feels we are restricting his freedom. He is missing the context. All he knows is he wants his hand to move and we want it to be still. He can't see that what he thinks is restriction is really freedom-- freedom to receive the flow that sustains his life.
Like Wayne, we often chafe at God's call to obedience, thinking it restricts us. Our view is narrow. We can't see that His loving hand on ours is freedom. It keeps us in the place where His power and provision flow. It keeps us from moving out of the flow of His Life.
This morning when I got to Wayne's room, they had tied that restless hand to the bed with just enough give that he had freedom, but not license. In other words, he could move his hand, but only within the confines of that which was safe for him. It was a comfortable, soft little cuff around his wrist, but it surprised me and hurt me when I saw it. I thought, how much better when the discipline comes from a loving hand. How much better when that "restriction" is accompanied with a loving touch and gentle words instead of in a impersonal "law" that has no heart. See how much God loves us? His guidance comes to us from His loving hand, accompanied by His gentle voice, until we learn by experience that His commands set us free.
"I will run in the path of your commands,for you have set my heart free" (Ps 119:32).
posted by Jennifer Kennedy Dean at 6:10 PM
22 Comments:
Jennifer,
The Mathis family just returned from Dallas. As we traveled and the miles went by, I often found God bringing Wayne, you and the boys to mind. Know that prayers were made and I am sure that God's timing in stirring the inclination to pray was purposful. I am grateful that His will is perfect.
Stephen
Dear Jennifer. My heart bleeds for you all. Your continued faith in the face of so much sorrow leaves me speechless. Please know that those of us who care so much for you are crying with you. As always, you are in my prayers continuously. Love, Jackie Stonecipher, your Paducah friend.
Jennifer and family:
Your perception of God's ways in the face of such personal trauma shows me that the prayers of His people are being answered. God is so much a part of this journey you are on.
I facilitate and have seen growth in myself through your study "Live a Praying Life" and your book "Fueled by Faith." There are 15 of us in the Bible Study. We meet on Monday night at our church in Panama City, FL.
Be assured that God is calling us to prayer for you and your family.
I spoke on the phone once with Wayne and remember thinking what a regular, down-to-earth guy he is. I felt like family.
Praise God for your years together and the memories you have.
Thank you for this Blog and the privilege of praying for you. We are honored to be able to pray for our teacher. Thank you for allowing God to use you in such mighty, all-consuming ways.
Charlene Hodge
Northstar Church
Women's Bible Study
Hi Jennifer,
I met you in the fall of 2004 at Sky Ranch in Van, Texas. You spoke to a group of us women and I learned so much. I had no idea until today of the difficulty your family is facing. I will lift you all up to our Father and pray for His continued peace and comfort on each of.
Stacy Bennett
Tennessee Colony, Texas
Dear Jen, we're crying with you; praying for you. Thanks for taking the time to update your blog (just reading about your recent days feels like being on a roller-coaster)and allowing us to weep or rejoice with you, albeit from afar. May our God of all comfort wrap you in His arms tonight and hold you tight (as I would like to do)and I praise and thank Him for all your wonderful friends who are cooking TG dinner and close enough to give you hugs. I am crying as I write...
Love, Claudia Martindale
Dearest Jennifer, Good Morning. I picture all your tears stored in a beautiful bowl in heaven and all your prayers right there with them. Please know I care.
Love - Kathy Coleman- Arkansas
Dear Jennifer,
After hearing your voice and your tears on Sat., I read of God's sufficiency coming through once again for a faithful servant. Many are ministering to you through prayer, but only God knows how many you are ministering to during your "walk through the valley"! I'm amazed and yet, why should I be? Thank you for you listening, praying, obedient heart.
Chili's ready. :-)
Brenda
Dear Jennifer
My heart and soul goes out to you. I lost my healthy husband to lung cancer in March. He was 44,never smoked, was in perfect health. The onset of things that made it worse started last Decemeber and I find myself having anxiety attacks. The healing is still ongoing but I do feel that God holds me everyday. I believed in a miracle for my husband and still believe that they happen. Stay close to God as He knows what he is doing even if it isn't want we want. Never give up Hope. God Bless you.
Jennifer you are in my thoughts and prayers as well as Wayne and the boys.
Brenda from Lone Oak Baptist
Jennifer and Wayne, We send you our love and our promise to continue in prayer from our Praying Life Groups in Little Rock, Arkansas. We had heard of Waynes illness but I didn't know how to get word until I got the e-mail from the Foundation today. We just finished our sixth class. Three weeks ago we were watching the video on Obedience and Forgiveness and the Holy Spirit instructed me to have the class stop and pray for you and Wayne. Isn't it wonderful that He allows us to inhale and inhale his Word so that when we need it we are able to exhale it? Please be assured that our wonderful folks at Immanuel in Little Rock will continue to pray. We will ask God to put His words into our prayers. Much love, Nancy Morton and host of other pray-ers...
Jennifer,
The question was asked in Sunday School Sunday morning, "Why do people avoid people who are experiencing difficulties?". My immediate answer was, "because we don't know what to say." Please forgive me for not being there to let you know that you, Wayne and your sons are constantly in the prayers of Lera and I. With Love!
John Hardin
Dearest Jennifer,
All weekend as we traveled, etc. the Lord continued to bring you all to mind. What a blessing you all are to all of us! And prayers continued to be lifted up on your family's behalf.
I'm so glad you are on the Hospice trail. I'm convinced when my father was ill the Lord used them to save my life! And I will be eternally grateful for those delightful and precious ones who give of themselves for others.
May the Lord continue to bless you, be gracious unto you, continue to make His face shine upon you--and continue His abundant blessings in the midst of this most difficult time in your lives. You all are a shining light in this dark world!
Know He is using you mightily for all of us who stand with you in prayer. It is a privilege to help hold up your arms through prayer.
So glad we're all His.
With much, much love,
Kay Walker
Raleigh NC
Dear Wayne and Jennifer,
You and your family are in my daily prayers. I recieve your monthly newsletter. I found out about Wayne this month at our MITI A/R Director's meeting. Here is my prayer for you today Jannifer:
Father, in the name of Jesus , as I pray for Jennifer and Wayne please help them to know that You will equip them in advance as well as during the tough times. You will take up residence in them and provide the gift of faith to be applied to te crises they may have to confront. I pray that through tough times You will release in them the aspect of Your character they most need for the circumstances ahead, courage, patience, endurance, discernment, wisdom, tenacity, and hope.
Amen
Dear Wayne and Jennifer,
You and your family are in my daily prayers. I recieve your monthly newsletter. I found out about Wayne this month at our MITI A/R Director's meeting. Here is my prayer for you today Jannifer:
Father, in the name of Jesus , as I pray for Jennifer and Wayne please help them to know that You will equip them in advance as well as during the tough times. You will take up residence in them and provide the gift of faith to be applied to te crises they may have to confront. I pray that through tough times You will release in them the aspect of Your character they most need for the circumstances ahead, courage, patience, endurance, discernment, wisdom, tenacity, and hope.
Amen
Cee Smith Bowling Green, Ky
Dearest Jennifer,
My heart is filled with tears, pain, faith and hope all at once as I read your updates. Thank you for allowing so many of us, who like me may not ever have met you personally, but are kindred in the Spirit of Christ and prayer, to have the honor and priviledge to join you in prayer. There is not an ounce of doubt in my mind this journey is honoring God in ways beyond all we could ask or imagine. May you and your family continue to be filled with His Peace as I am sure you are experiencing His Persevering Presence as never before. Thank you for your openness, honesty, and your continued servanthood, even in the uttermost depths of your pain.
Much love & many prayers,
Tammy Price, Myrtle Beach, SC
Jennifer, The gals who meet to pray for your meeting here in Tyler Tx. in 2oo6 spent our meeting time this morning praying for Wayne,you and your family. Know that we will continue to pray individually. Mary Rossman
Dearest Jennifer,
You bless me. Thank you for your vulnerability and spiritual applications, the body is encouraged and growing because of you.
What rest in our souls to know that God answers our prayers consistent with His character and purposes.
You and your family are loved and prayed for.
"Prince of Peace, breakthough in wonderful ways your mercy and grace on Jennifer and her family. Holy Spirit speak to each heart words that will comfort and bring hope."
Love you,
Fern
Well, Jen, we were in KC last week and several times I headed in the direction of Blue Springs just to give you a hug and each time God said NO. Now, I know. We are praying for God's perfect will to be done now for Wayne especially. We are never going to quit asking for healing but we'll always surrender, as I know you do, to the perfect, sovereign will of a Heavenly Father who loves Wayne so much more than any of us on earth could ever do. My prayers are with you and the boys - it's a hard journey that God has you on right now - only He can be sufficient for the journey and I know that there is only one set of footprints in the sand of your lives right now. I'm asking God to give you a special hug today - just so you'll again know He's real and cares deeply about you. Tears are ok! I believe that when we shed tears here on earth, God collects them in a bucket in Heaven and I am assured that He shed a bucket of blood over our tears. Tears are ok.....this side of Heaven. You are loved and thought of today. Jeanne & Dale Parrott (Colorado Springs, CO)
Jennifer, Wayne and family,
We still begin the day with you sitting by our fire. The Lord instructs and we listen and enjoy His presence but He often uses your words and thoughts to feed us. We have never met you,Wayne, and Jennifer wouldn't remember us from the crowd but our "beginning of the day" has united us. We pray for you...not with a heavy heart but with a "merciful" heart and tender heart. We KNOW that our Lord has His tender arms around each one of you and has you snuggled close to His chest...holding you; loving you; strengthening you; speaking to you. He loves you so!
In His Name,
Jan and Ernest Taylor, Newnan, GA
Hey Aunt Jennie, just wanted to let you know that I am still praying and thinking about all of you. Please tell Uncle Wayne how much I love him.
Elizabeth Grace
Jennifer,
Although I have never met you, you have touched my heart with your words of faith and devotion. I have been fortunate to have met Wayne and to have watched several BSHS football games with him when Stinson was playing. My son, Chris, is also a 2004 BSHS grad and a long-time friend of Sean Sharkey. Stinson was, and is, an amazing Christian young man, who has had a significant impact on Sean, the football players and numerous BSHS students. Chris enjoyed the times he spent with Sean and Stinson during high school. The love of your family has touched so many...many, like me, that you don't even know. I lift Wayne and your family up in my prayers each and every day, and I know that he is in God's hands.
A Sister in Christ, Cindy Young
I was able to put away my own feelings of inadequacy, helpless in my ability to make a difference tonight for Wayne and his family, and was able to spend some quality undistracted time with the Lord. He reminded me that I do not pray as fervently as I should for my own son who is a hospice chaplain, and now we as your Christian friends and family face the responsibility and joy to pray for those who will be coming into your home to help you during these Spirit filled days ahead. How these folks will be blessed in sharing life and death with your precious family. Sandy Woodside
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