On Again, Off Again, Maybe On Again
Nope! Wayne did not get to come home today. He was dismissed by the doctor, waiting for paper work, etc. to be completed, and took a sudden turn for the worse again.
His fever spiked, he began to chill, and he began to hallucinate far beyond what he has done before. He was having visual and auditory hallucinations. The doctor rescinded his orders and kept Wayne in the hospital.
No solid explanation for the brain tissue swelling. No solid explanation for the fever or for the hallucinations.
Stinson is with Wayne this evening and Brantley will spend the night. I will arrive at the hospital, as I do each morning, by about 6:00 am.
I have hope that he will be dismissed early in the morning and that he will be home in time for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks to a group of wonderful families who are cooking our Thanksgiving meal, I don't have to stress about how I can make sure my family has a fabulous Thanksgiving meal this year. I am moved to tears by that kindness. You will never know.
Thoughts on Wayne's Condition
Wayne, because he is not able to exercise discipline over his brain right now, does not know he has a left side again. It is foreign to him. In the course of his hallucinating, he looks at his left hand and says, "What is that?" Once he called me from across the room and said, "Jennifer! You need to move your hand. It's in my way!" Several times I have seen him lift his left hand with his right hand and try to move it out of his way as if it were an object sitting on his lap. How strange that his hand is connected to his body in every way except that it is not receiving signals from his brain.
As I watched Wayne today, grieved as I was, I could not help but think about the way the Scripture describes the relationship between Christ and His followers. He is the Head and we are the body. See how totally each part of the body is dependent upon the Head? He moves through His believers and His desires and will are exercised through His followers. Without the Head, the hand cannot be the hand; the foot cannot be the foot. The apostle Paul wrote about a follower who starts living as if he or she were in charge. "He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow" (Col 1:19). A body part disconnected from its Head is lifeless-- as useless as if it belonged to someone else.
My Gratitude
Friends, I am so grateful to you. Our family is held in your expressions of love to us. As a left-brained, cerebral person, I am not used to torrents of tears. But these days tears are always ready to flow. Your posts, your cards and notes, your acts of grace to us mean more than I have words to say. So let my tears speak for me.
His fever spiked, he began to chill, and he began to hallucinate far beyond what he has done before. He was having visual and auditory hallucinations. The doctor rescinded his orders and kept Wayne in the hospital.
No solid explanation for the brain tissue swelling. No solid explanation for the fever or for the hallucinations.
Stinson is with Wayne this evening and Brantley will spend the night. I will arrive at the hospital, as I do each morning, by about 6:00 am.
I have hope that he will be dismissed early in the morning and that he will be home in time for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks to a group of wonderful families who are cooking our Thanksgiving meal, I don't have to stress about how I can make sure my family has a fabulous Thanksgiving meal this year. I am moved to tears by that kindness. You will never know.
Thoughts on Wayne's Condition
Wayne, because he is not able to exercise discipline over his brain right now, does not know he has a left side again. It is foreign to him. In the course of his hallucinating, he looks at his left hand and says, "What is that?" Once he called me from across the room and said, "Jennifer! You need to move your hand. It's in my way!" Several times I have seen him lift his left hand with his right hand and try to move it out of his way as if it were an object sitting on his lap. How strange that his hand is connected to his body in every way except that it is not receiving signals from his brain.
As I watched Wayne today, grieved as I was, I could not help but think about the way the Scripture describes the relationship between Christ and His followers. He is the Head and we are the body. See how totally each part of the body is dependent upon the Head? He moves through His believers and His desires and will are exercised through His followers. Without the Head, the hand cannot be the hand; the foot cannot be the foot. The apostle Paul wrote about a follower who starts living as if he or she were in charge. "He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow" (Col 1:19). A body part disconnected from its Head is lifeless-- as useless as if it belonged to someone else.
My Gratitude
Friends, I am so grateful to you. Our family is held in your expressions of love to us. As a left-brained, cerebral person, I am not used to torrents of tears. But these days tears are always ready to flow. Your posts, your cards and notes, your acts of grace to us mean more than I have words to say. So let my tears speak for me.
posted by Jennifer Kennedy Dean at 6:16 PM
5 Comments:
Jennifer, I don't know why we think that famous people are spared the things that happen to other people. One of the things I love about your books is that you are so real and unpretentious. One of my favorite quotes from you is, "I am radically ordinary." I thank you for being so open with your painful journey and letting all of us who love you through your books give back to you the best we can.
Deborah Anne Adelle
Dear Beloved Jennie and Wayne and Sons: You are constantly in our prayers and in our hearts. The sudden changes in Wayne's condition are mystifying. I don't know whether you will get this - the other day I sent you dear ones a note and it showed up duplicated and in yellow - don't know what I did wrong. I am in constant touch with your Mom and Dad and their strength and yours give me strength. You know we love you all so much. Aunt Mynatte and Uncle Red
Dear Dean Family....The Gilstraps are praying for you without ceasing!! You ALL are such a witness to so many through this battle. We are praying that you all are girded with the armor of God. Only HE knows whose lives are being touched through your thoughts, experiences, and perspective, as you bear your heart each day. Through this turmoil, you may not even realize it, but you are revealing to others truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, salvation and God's word, all six of the qualities you know are needed to live as a follower of Christ. Through your heart's cry, you have revealed to others a glimpse of how a "Victor in Christ" responds to adversity. We pray that His encouragement and peace consume each and everyone of you on Thanksgiving Day and those that follow. Please know we will help in anyway at anytime. I am still planning on bringing warm, home baked cookies very soon.
In friendship,
Mark, Rhonda and family
Jennifer,
Just read your email from Sunday which linked me into your comments and journal. I have no profound words or wisdom. I have only a comment of saying "Billie and I will pray with you during these days." You are already experiencing the sorrow of this segment of eternity and the joy of it. You will be sustained at your darkest hour by your Heavenly Father and will without a doubt find the blood of Christ will sustian you and you will be restored in His time. Meanwhile many will uphold you in prayer. Count us in. Dennis and Billie Henderson
Jennifer,
I am stunned by your observation about the Body and the Head. Oh, dear, precious sister in the Lord, how "deep is calling to deep" through you at this time. You are incredibly loved, desperately needed in the Body of Christ and absolutely covered in prayer as you continue to walk in the fellowship of His suffering. I am praying for you, Wayne and the boys. Love you, Jill Hanes
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