Waiting
Wayne is still with us. He has passed a peaceful day. His responses are gone, but I am sure he can hear us.
Mostly, he just sleeps deeply, not moving a muscle. Occasionally, he has a semi-wakeful moment and he, again, works hard to open his eyes and stares fixedly at a point and lifts his hands toward what he sees.
The hospice staff is surprised that he is still here. As I thought about it this morning, sitting with him, I had an amusing thought. Those of you who know Wayne well might chuckle with me about this. Wayne Dean has never cared much about schedule. He lived life on his own inner clock. When it was time to leave for anything, he would have one more thing he wanted to do first. One more phone call to make. One more sip of coffee. Nothing hurried Wayne. Even when we were leaving our first little apartment to head for the hospital and give birth to Brantley, Wayne had "one more thing" he needed to do first. That did not go over well!
It is peaceful to sit beside him and hold his hand and talk to him and read him Scripture. He can stay as long as he likes.
Mostly, he just sleeps deeply, not moving a muscle. Occasionally, he has a semi-wakeful moment and he, again, works hard to open his eyes and stares fixedly at a point and lifts his hands toward what he sees.
The hospice staff is surprised that he is still here. As I thought about it this morning, sitting with him, I had an amusing thought. Those of you who know Wayne well might chuckle with me about this. Wayne Dean has never cared much about schedule. He lived life on his own inner clock. When it was time to leave for anything, he would have one more thing he wanted to do first. One more phone call to make. One more sip of coffee. Nothing hurried Wayne. Even when we were leaving our first little apartment to head for the hospital and give birth to Brantley, Wayne had "one more thing" he needed to do first. That did not go over well!
It is peaceful to sit beside him and hold his hand and talk to him and read him Scripture. He can stay as long as he likes.
posted by Jennifer Kennedy Dean at 3:31 PM
9 Comments:
There are no words...
I'm so thankful for every moment you get to treasure with your dear husband.
What a wonder that as you hold Wayne's hand, Jesus' hand rests on yours.
I left mycomment back on your earlier post of today...
I am in awe of God's peace and comfort...
What a testimony Wayne and your family are to all of us who are coming along side...
(((HUGS)))
Kerri
Your comments brought a smile as I think of my own husband, who moves on "Butler Time" - I'm so blessed by that because he often slows me down so that I see what I would have missed had I been rushing at break-neck speed as is my nature! God is good - thanks again for sharing!
Denise Butler
What an example you and your boys are of living in perfect peace in God's will! I pray for all of you daily!! May God continue to give you the grace and undergird you with His strength in the days ahead after Wayne's healing. I thank you for making yourself vulnerable to us. . .allowing us to travel this difficult road with you. God's children truly ARE all family and we can share each other's joys and pains - even from afar. When my mother-in-love was dying, my husband & myself along with 2 of his sisters were blessed to be able to live in her hospital room the last 2 weeks of her life with her. One of the nurses gave us a notebook called "Crossing the Creek" written by a hospice nurse. It was quite helpful and comforting to us. Maybe it would be for you, as well. You can get copy it from www.crossingthecreek.com.
We will fall asleep with prayers for you,Jennifer, and Wayne and your boys on our hearts. We pray often through the day for you. May God bless you continually and hold each of you firmly in His precious hand.
Jan and Ernest Taylor, Newnan, Ga
Jennifer and family..
As I read daily from this site. I see some of the things my mom and sister went thru as my father's cancer progressed. I was unable to be there the entire time. God has truly blessed your family with this time together. The one thing I can say is that I know that in the end my father made peace with GOD and was saved several months before he passed away.
I pray for you and your family everyday and when I read this site I am reminded how strong you and your families bond is to each other and to Christ.
May God keep you all strong and guide you thru this time.. many blessings to your and your family
I want you to give Wayne a big hug and tell him how much Scott, Amy and I love him.
We talk about a welcoming committee. I don't know if you remember this Jeni, but after our brother, Roger, died, I was tormented by thoughts that Roger must be missing us as much as we missed him. My young mind couldn't fathom being aware of earthly things and not missing us and feeling lonely. I stuggled with those thoughts for days. One night, as I was sleeping on the screened-in porch, I was awakened suddenly by what I thought was a loud clap of thunder. I was startled and sat straight up and there, sitting on the end of my bed, was Roger. I wasn't frightened at all. I asked him if he was afraid, if he was lonely. Roger told me about his "welcoming committee"..those were the words he used. He told me Aunt Altie was on the committee. He told me that he takes walks with Jesus on the beach. He assured me he was so happy. I fell back to sleep and when I woke the next morning I ran down to tell mom about Roger's visit. Mom started crying. She didn't dismiss it as a dream...she told me that she had been asking God to give me peace. She told me that God knows exactly what we need. I had always needed proof of things. I was never able to just trust. God had arranged my visit with Roger. Who better to assure my young mind that Roger was happy than Roger himself? I try to imagine what Wayne's welcoming committee will look like....I know Roger will be there and Granny and his mom and dad....I can imagine Wayne having a cup of coffee with Jesus and chatting (how he loves to sip coffee and chat!). I wish I could see his welcome home but I don't have to see it or hear about it ...I will just know that it was amazing!!! What a day of rejoicing that will be.
I'll miss him dearly. He was my buddy.
Pris
Jennifer, your mentioning "I can only imagine" reminded me that the Mercy Me song was played at the celebration of life service I attended Saturday for a former student--she graduated a year ago with my son Josh. Two days before the service it poured rain here like I've never seen before...and God gave me the vision of her splashing in puddles. I wrote a poem about that...and later learned that she loved the rain. Anyhoooo...when this song was played, I pictured Amber splashing in puddles in heaven--just filled with Jesus Joy. We can only imagine... Praying for joy glimpses.
"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!! Only imagine!!!
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine."
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Copyright: ©1999 MercyMe
Jennifer,
Thank you for sharing during these most precious hours in your life. I pray for you and your family daily and have been rushing to my computer over the last few days to spend these hours vicariously with Wayne through your blogs. I have never met Wayne, and have only met you once, but the memories that you have shared have restored my hope in true, Godly love, as I struggle through the enemy's attack on my marriage. You are such a blessing.
Tonya
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